On breathing…

Sigh… it’s another day in the haze, another day I will choke and gasp everytime I cough… another day with watery sunlight and half-hearted days… The god-damned haze is killing us! Or is it?

Everyone everywhere is complaining about how Indonesia should be a more responsible neighbour and take actions to reduce the haze… From ministers to ‘makciks’ on the roadside, every person’s got an opinion and a particular body part that is sometimes better kept to themselves…

You see, the problem with our beloved neighbour is that they simply don’t give a rat’s ass about the problems we face when smothered in the luverly haze. I would know… I was there for two months, sampling the ‘best’ they had to offer… How can we expect them to spend time, money and effort combating a haze that affects people who live ohh… only about 2000 kilometers away?

The thing is, even back home in their own country, they were barely able to manage themselves. Sort of like leaving a bunch of kids in charge at home for a week… of course when you come home the house is still standing and everyone’s still alive… marginally… The bills are left unpaid, the cats have been fed once every four days, the house smells like rubbish and the plants have all mysteriously contracted rot disease… And yet the kids will say, “It’s all good, we had it under control…”

It’s almost the same in Indonesia… everything is simply crumbling to dust… either from greed or apathy… Yes, the country is running, people are surviving… but again we return to the point of them barely making it… For Malaysians to impose and say, “Look, you gotta kill those forest fires, man… we’re choking here in our Saville Row shirts and fancy air-conditioned cars!” is simply absurd. They can barely clothe and feed themselves, and here we are telling them to spend billions of Rupiahs to kill some fires in the forest somewhere?? I guess the money is better spent to get the Indonesians some Saville Row shirts and fancy cars…

This morning, a Malaysian researcher no less, proclaimed that the haze was due to the effects of El Nino… Now we’re getting somewhere! What other outlandish ideas will our intelligentsia sprout next? Martians farting in our general direction? Or the alignment of the moon, sun and Earth that recently caused extra high spring tides might just also be able to ‘gravitationally’ drag the smoke to us as well? Oh, and don’t forget that sometimes in this time of the year, way too many “Mat Rempits” are racing with too much 2T, and the smoke from their racing is causing the haze… At the very least we’re beginning to get into the Malaysian spirit of assigning blame to each other, and then playing catch-the-hot-potato blame game.. It’s all good, we can keep shoving blame to each other till the cows go home… Maybe by that time, the haze would have gone to the ground naturally, eh?

Waiting for blue skies as clear as your eyes – Jasmine

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