On expectations, again…

First of all, my apologies for not posting my ramblings earlier… there are lots of words sitting around somewhere on my laptop, but I have decided not to post them, as some are no longer relevant, while others posts risk sounding like the mad ramblings of a delirious old cow… So, please forgive me, especially those who take pleasure in reading about my sometimes insane, sometimes mundane days… Of course, one should expect a certain regularity to some things in life, like the rush of caffeine in the first morning coffee and the inevitability of listening to bad news when you tune into the news channel, and in the same perversity, perhaps bloggers should also be a bit more responsible to their imagined audiences, and write regularly. Shame on bloggers who are erratic! Who’s to deny the masses their morbid fascination with getting first hand glimpses into the most intimate thoughts of strangers, right?

OK, enough self-depreciation right now… For those who actually read this space, here’s my new resolution – I shall post as often as I write, and not keep it as pickle in my hard disk.

On to today’s topic, expectations… I realize that this is a rerun, or sequel of sorts… but bear with me… I mean, everyone has their expectations, some big some small…. it’s a dynamic thing, our wishes and hopes, it’s something alive and ever-changing, and keeping that in mind, I will be writing more on expectations in the future.

We spent most of yesterday, my sister and my better/worse half, celebrating and glorifying the excesses that characterizes what it is to be human, to be able to change and manipulate the environment – by shopping in a massively massive mall… We ate like pigs, walked aimlessly, and spent not too wisely our hard-earned moolah… And then we walked into the Carat Club.

Now, for those who have no idea what the Carat Club is, it’s an establishment that epitomizes the excesses of human desires… They trade in insanely expensive, and madly desired stones called diamonds… People have gone to war over them, empires rise and fall, kings and queens murdered in cold blood… So, truly, we homo sapiens are damned fascinated with these shiny little bits of carbon… Here, they have made the perfect marketing ploy, to sell into the gullibility of one in love, to give in to the desire to make a loved one happy, by buying them bits of sparkling rocks symbolizing eternal love… Of course, being human myself, I too wish and desire to own a piece of ‘eternal love’… We walked in, made as if we were shopping and tried on these bits of rocks…

Yes, they were insanely expensive. And yes, they’re not the best ones for value for money. But love is an insane thing – people spend on one item of jewellery the same amount some families spend in a year. Thinking about it in retrospect, it’s not very like myself to wish for something so out of reach… But by making such a wish, I am hoping for a better ending to my very own fairy tale.

To strive for a token of love, is a sign of devotion. Some may say its superficial, measuring the love of a person by how much they spend on you… But to me, it is the amount of work and self-sacrifice and devotion that will be symbolized by that stupid rock. By choosing the right rock, one is also saying that their significant other is in fact worth more that money can buy, although a dollar figure too small is never good for any relationship, eh?

I will, for now, push out from my mind the thoughts of those shiny little rocks and sparkle and dance in the light, and work damn hard to get my 42’ plasma tv instead 😛 That too, in my twisted mind, is a sign of devotion to each other – by investing to make the home a place to be in comfort, it means that we really want to share this fairytale together… no matter how bad the days have been.

Still dreaming of the gorgeous ring, but for now I’ll keep my trap shut… Hopefully you’ll love me enough to know that every girl has dreams of the most beautiful wedding ring – Jasmine.

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