On love…

I’ve been melancholy and blue these past few days… I can’t seem to shake myself out of it, and it was a particularly bad spell for me last night. *sigh* Being hungry and thirsty all day certainly didn’t help, but that was by choice…

This one post, I am sure, is going to piss you off again, when you do get around to reading it of course. I am dead sure you know who you are, but here goes anyways, because I need an outlet for all these emotions driving me up the wall…

I miss being in love with you. I don’t want to just love you, I want to be in love with you. And I wish to the Heavens above that you would want the same for me. I miss the twinkle in your eyes when I catch you looking at me, and I miss those little things that you do that mean the world to me. I miss exploring new places with you, and I miss your cooking when I’ve had a bad day. I miss waking up in your arms with the sunlight streaming through the windows, and I miss us doing the crazy things we used to do when we were in love before…

I miss your poems and your songs, and I miss your lullaby on the faithful guitar when my nights are sleepless. I miss watching the stars above with you. I miss you surprising me with flowers, and a romantic night out. I miss your butterfly kisses, and I miss the feel of your skin on mine…

I understand now, that when you say you do love me, it’s true. You do love me. But you’re not in love with me. Every little thing pisses you off, and it breaks my heart each and every time when you forget, that I am also human, even when on the outside it looks as if I’m tough as nails.

We’ve been together for so long, that we’re both at fault. We both take each other for granted. Perhaps time has taken its toll, and we haven’t been making the effort to stay in love. We just both simply fell into the rut of familiarity and comfort, and feel as if this is as good as it gets…

I may never get these words across to you in person, because I cannot get through the veil of tears and heartache. I think I need to learn to come to the table without baggage, and leave my issues behind.

From today, I will make the effort to make you fall for me again, like you did so many lives ago. We were meant to be, I know it deep in my heart. And you do love me, so hope floats…

Praying and hoping that you will one day wake up, and realize that I truly do love you – Jasmine.


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