On neighbours…

The Bible says “Love thy neighbour as thyself”. I’m guessing Jesus didn’t have neighbours that hail from hell like we do… God is kind however, its only one crazy nut – the rest of our neighbours are simply fantastic.

Anyways, the story about the neighbour on the left-hand side of our house began one fateful day when they bought the house and started renovating. The construction sounds and groans and creaks and dust went on and on, day and night for over three months. We thought, what the hell, we’ll just be good neighbours and endure it – after all, this is hopefully they’re one and only time renovating, right?

They then proceed to build their extension sky high, and block the wind and sun and everything else under God’s green earth from our unit. On top of that, we nearly went to arms trying to get them to do a proper job on the renovation – they had wanted to leave the wall facing us literally bare – seeing the bricks and mortar in the morning isn’t exactly my cup of tea. They finally gave in when we threatened to complain to MPAJ…

Next came the horrendous bits of stainless steel they choose to deck their house in – it looks like a spaceship from the outside! Then came the golden lions on top of their gate… Are they trying to imitate Stargate here? Then the tiles came enroaching into our side of the driveway… Most nights, we don’t need to turn on our lights, the spillover from their place is enough to light up two houses! Still we put up with them…

Then they got two dogs.

That was when it went to hell. The dogs are literally barkers. They bark day and night and don’t stop for bats zooming out of hell. At all hours of the day. To make things worse, they don’t particularly take care of their dogs – they are full of fungus and ticks – one fella even has a bald patch at the top of the head! And they are chained up day and night. And they stink! The poo, the pee, the smell and the general upkeep is miserable…

No… I don’t hate dogs. Don’t get me wrong. Yes, I’m a Muslim. I love dogs, cats, tarantulas… all manner of furry things… But not when they’re treated badly, behave badly, and affect me and my family. And to make things worse, the owners seem to think that its perfectly fine for their stupid little yappy dogs to terrorize the street and give everyone sleepless nights. Its gotten so bad, I now give them “Shushhh!” commands from bed! They eventually shut up someone tells them off, but the truth is, they shouldn’t be yapping in the first place… And it should be the damn owners giving commands, not me!

My furry kids, who are about three times bigger than the neighbours dogs, by the way, think its fun to try and snap their little heads of their shoulders when they poke it through the fence.  I really don’t want to end up as the German Shepherd owner with a dead neighbours dog’s decapitated head in my compound. Especially not when its their dogs who taunt mine and think its good fun to poke at a working-line German Shepherd who can literally bite their heads off.

And honestly, after spending the whole of last night sleepless, because the two idiots refuse to stop barking, I might just let my kids have a go at those two mangy, fungus-ridden arseholes masquerading as guard dogs next door.

Please, if you want to own dogs, be a responsible owner. Train your dogs. Do not keep them chained up 24 hours a day in the sun and rain and moonshine. Give them adequate care. Keep them quiet and don’t let them become a nuisance. Don’t let their excreta roll down your driveway and piss people off… Would you keep your children the same way? Keep them tied to the yard, let them cry all night and change the diapers once a week… Would you, really?

Other people have dogs too… And some of them have bigger dogs than you, that can do serious damage to yours, simply because you’re not bothered enough to take care of them. To make things worse, it is your dogs who instigate, but it will be my evil, big black dog that will get the blame.

I suddenly understand and emphatize with those people who poison their neighbours dogs. I see the point too –  I don’t want the ticks and diseases jumping over the fence to my place, so now my kids are kept as far away as I can from these two clowns. But for how long it can be done, its a different story… I’m already at the limits of my patience, and if it doesn’t stop, I will call MPAJ. Don’t forget we know you don’t have licenses for the two dogs… But that will only make the dogs the victim… I would love to let my kids bite you, really, for letting it go to the dogs literally…

After this post, I will be writing a “Dear Neighbour” letter, and hope that the idiot can understand it – Jasmine.


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